♥ , a c i d i c t e a r s.

Oh, How the Tables Turn

Date : Wednesday, September 26

Fear the oppressive rescue of your undying promise
The threat of strangle is gripping your sleeve
Because you refuse to release them
The chains detain them in the cell of deception
Holding captive a hop long forsaken to oppression
And a pressure bearing down on a youthful wile
Linear honors are awarded at length
Presented at a ceremony of unfaithful ways
Shards of class are littering the red carpet
& burnt purple velvet are scattered in the wind
Fear the oppressive rescue of your undying promise
That word you gave - guaranteeing release
The lies mumbled to your prisoners
Deceiving them along with their half hearted souls
The threat of guilt will strangle you
And it will muffle your screams
Releasing the loudest and most agonizing to the wind
Fear the oppressive rescue of your undying promise
It has detained you -

Naomi S.J. || 9:32 AM

As Minutes Pass I Lose My Sense

Date : Tuesday, September 25

I am standing on a sidewalk
One lag wrapped around his
He is holding me up
Supporting my weight
My head is turned far away from his
But his cheek presses against mine
Our damp skin is sticking together
His arm is at my hip
And my hand is on his back
This is the most affectionate he will get
The most affection he will show me
During our dance

During our dance on the sidewalk
While waiting for the bus to arrive
It’s sort of mystic in that way
It’s irrational, and of little sense
Yet here we stand - tangoing on the sidewalk
My high heels pressing hard into the concrete

I’m in Never-Neverland
Lost in our dance – gripping onto the irrationality of us
I should be frightened by his boldness
By his condescension to hold me up
But I relish in his touch
I savor this moment

The entity of Wonder is spectacular
One ventures to understand it
Then it changes its form

It changes into passion
Into lust – into evil
Wonder evolves into chaos.

He spins me round and round.

Naomi S.J. || 8:47 PM

Antibiotic Lifestlye

Date : Monday, September 24

Benedryl Allergies in the morning
Because Im allergic to cats
And NyQuil at night
Because my nose is runny
And my head is filled with pressure
Except Im not sick anymore
I just cant sleep
Cant shut my eyes long enough to rest
Cant relax my muscles –
My shoulders curl in
And my neck aches
Tylenol becomes my constant
Extra strength – the strong kind
The one with 650 mg per pill
I take four.
Nausea sets in
Too many drugs in my system
I eat something – but guilt is cunning
She stands on the street corner
Whoring herself to thousands
I take green-tea diet pills
The guilt f***ed me
But Im more nauseous now
So I grab the Pepto Bysmol
Its such a strong, thick taste
I want to vomit
But I hold down the urge
I still cant sleep
So I pop some sleep-aid
Before I lay back down
I pop my Loestrogen 24
To regulate my monthly
Finally I fall asleep.
When I wake up my nose is runny.
So I pop my Benedryl Allergies
And some DayQuil
--Unsure of the cause—
And I go about my day.

Naomi S.J. || 8:49 PM

Dangling from Piano Strings

Date : Monday, September 17

Ding – the high note rings

The note of standards

It rings fresh in the air

It bounces from cloud to cloud

And echoes in the heart of every sinner

Jumping from black to white

From truth to lies

Dancing along the shiny black surface

Weighing down the piano

This piano suspended by strings

This piano that swings back and forth

As the sinners tango upon it

Hips swaying dramatically as they move

Promises dripping onto the key

Like sap from trees

And I wonder when it’ll end.

Naomi S.J. || 12:07 PM

Our Tango Dance

Date : Sunday, September 16

Tango dancing on a wire with you is exhausting

I try to balance as our hips thrust at one another –

And as we spin around each other in fantastic form

This wire likes to wobble

& I wonder if the telephone poles will continue to support our weight

The bird wires for gossip wobble

But we continue to dance

We continue to move passionately

You shout words at me

Words that graze and cut my ears

I foolishly throw myself at you

I am a fool

You thwart me away by twisting away from me

I will continue to dance

Though the wires threaten to snap

And though the heat seems to rise

I will go on dancing

Either the wires are sparking

Or there is something between us

There’s no way to tell

No way to know how you feel

No way to avoid hurt

To avoid the fire

We keep tango dancing along the wire in the sky

Clouds drifting beside us

& I fear the wires will snap

I hope they snap.

--> I wrote this poem about tango dancing when I was thinking about me and this guy. I was in the car with my sister thinking about my relationship with him and I was trying to pinpoint how it made me feel; its a feeling I'm not used to. Its not like I'm standing in the middle of an ocean with waves crashing around me and it's not like a delicate ballet dance in the middle of the winter in a forest... It's passionate (I have these feelings for him that go unreturned - an unrequited romance). Yet every move I make with him I feel like I have to carefully plan it out and find loops holes so as not to be "thrown off the island" in a sense. The tango dance is passionate and emotional. The telephone wire means a lot. First of all the part with the sparks is supposed to get across the ambiguity of everything - how something that may sometimes seem so clear (like him liking me in return) turns out to be something totally different. (the wires sparking). Then the wires also represent gossip - like dancing along a stream of words that have no real meaning. The reason it represent gossip also is because when I think of telephone wires I think of a line of birds sitting on it and it always looks like they are talking or in other words, gossiping. I really like this poem because I feel like SO many people can relate to it... Anyone whose gone after a person who didnt have feelings for them in return would understand.

Naomi S.J. || 12:07 PM

The Red Hat

Date : Wednesday, September 12

I stand 50 degrees behind 90
50 degrees behind the heat
Behind the humidity
I stand in the cold
In the wind
Beside 40 degrees
We stand together
And yet we stand alone
Alone in the cold
But not lonely
Because its normal
Its home
And the bitter wind
Is our living room
Its where we spend our time
Its where we watch her
The girl in the red
- Floppy red hat,
Red stiletto heels,
& Bright red lipstick -
We watch her in the cold
As she tries to hold her hat
And as she flags down a taxi - we watch
As her hat flies away
And as it rolls into a puddle
As she takes off in the cab
We watch
And as the hat sits alone
Along in the puddle
Alone in the cold
Alone, 50 degrees behind 90
50 degrees behind the heat
We watch.

Naomi S.J. || 12:01 PM