New Years Vow
Staring over
Writing a new story that I have yet to live
I seem to always lose, I cant ever win
This time around, Im going to move slow
As people speed past me,
And images fade
I soon begin to realize that I have been betrayed
I screamed for aid and I cried out and prayed
Im gonna' slow down, I cant go fast
Im too busy holding on to my past
I washed it off, and scrubbed with soap
In dire need to track down my hope
Im gonna' slow down, like in a dance
I'll sing to myself in sweet romance
Im writing a story that I have yet to live
Maybe I'll change to ending..
Instead of losing, I will win.
Naomi S.J. || 8:47 PM

Burnt Doll House
Thou shall not cry
I'll wipe away your tears
Thou shall not fly
I'll hold down your fears
Thou shall not die
I'll watch you through the years
Thou shall not cry
I'll wipe away your tears
Come to me daughter
Im always here for you
I am your father
I watched you as you grew
As fire burns in your eyes
I will always rise
As immortal fears speak words so clear
Through the broken walls, that scream I hear!
As strangers come and send you pain
I will be there for you to gain
As temptaion comes, and beats like your heart
Deep in your veins, just like an art
Black masked and strong
Dark horns dont belong
Fire burns in your eyes
But I will always rise!
Dont cry, my daughter
Thou shall not cry
(I will wipe away your tears)
Thou shall not kill
Turn to your father
Thou shall not fall
Chained like a prisoner
Thou shall not feel
The love thats in your mother
Such lonliness....



Naomi S.J. || 7:34 PM

Zombie
I live a life I dont want to live
Ive made mistakes that I cant forgive
I look at my life and I want to cry
I see its true, I am the lie
My heart is beating but I am dead
Nothing matters, no tears I should shed
I turned left, when I should have gone right
I sleep in the day and stay awake at night
I speak in silence, and think in screams
I live a nightmare, and sleep in dreams
All because I live a life I dont want to live
Ive made mistakes, nobody can forgive
Naomi S.J. || 6:27 PM

Tobi's sleeping
I watch him as he sleeps
So small, so fragile
His soft chest moving up and down
As he heaves in and out
I watch him, sleeping
I watch him, dreaming
Legs twitching
Hes running
but from what?
His legs twitching
Back and forth
Is he running free?
In a field of dreams?
Soon he calms
The only movement is his soft chest
Moving up and down
As he heaves in and out
I could go to sleep
But I like watching him
So peacful, so cute
I choose to sit here, in bed
Watching him sleep
Watching him dream
I miss him
I miss watching him sleep
And I miss the way his small legs
Would twitch back and forth
When he slept, running in his dreams
I miss the smell of him
The look in his eyes
I miss watching his chest
Move up and down
As he breathed in and out
I miss his nose
And his ears
I miss Tobi

Naomi S.J. || 7:34 PM

The Devils Dancer in my Head
In a corner
Sitting
Gripping my knees
Rocking
Back and forth
Tears
Soaking my sleeves
Staring
At a blank wall
Beautiful
In its white washed face
Projections
Flashing
Cant ever erase
The tears
That have fallen
And infected
My open wounds
Calling
Screaming out
Alone
In this empty room
In a corner
Sitting
Gripping my knees
Rocking
Back and forth
Tears
Soaking my sleeves
Images
Of your face
Memories
I cant erase
Haunted
By desires
Tears
Burn like fire
I pray
But no one answers
Evil thoughts
Spin my head
All around
Like the Devils dancers
Naomi S.J. || 12:05 AM

In the middle of the night I wake
Images fade
As my eyes open
And my breathing turns into a gasp
As I sit up quickly
And my hair falls into my face
As my eyes burn
And my nose tingles
Waking up is hard to do
I am always dreaming of you
Its hard, to wake up
Because its like I have you back
And your taken away all over again
In seconds..
Making me reach for you
But never quite grasping you
Waking up is hard to do
And I cant lay back down again
I cant shut my eyes
I cant breathe, I cant think
I love sleeping, but I hate waking up
To the harsh reality that smacks me in the face
Leaving the images of you
To dance around in my head
I wont sleep in my bed
Where you used to lay, beside me
Images fade
But memories stay
My love for you, wont go away
I love you.


Naomi S.J. || 6:57 PM

The note
Between your lips you mumble lies
To me, though, its no suprise
When you write me notes, filled with scorn
I often wonder where those feelings were born
I really dont know what I did wrong
Not enough for you to say I dont belong
To say everyone hates me, in many ways
To say my friend hates me, and to go away
Between your lips you mumble lies
The words you say I really despise
You yell at me, in the hall or on the phone
Tell your friends not to talk to me
Leaving me to sit all alone
Well, guess what?!
I dont care, its easy to pretend that your not there
It doesnt bother me, you immaturity
What bothers me is
How you blame me for your insecurity
Between your lips, all you can mumble is lies
Your completely oblivious
To your own disguise
You dont seem to realize Gods love for you
How Jesus died on the cross, you cant construe
So you turn to something false
higher than you are
Then you blame me for your religious troubles
To me this is completely bizarre
Between your lips, you mumbles lies about me
Words crashing, like falling debris
Who is what and why and how
We dont agree
Its like your hatred
Is growing on a tree
And still, you dont see
That I dont like you either.
Naomi S.J. || 2:08 PM

Fallen Angel
Broken wings
Soaring through the sky
Tears falling from my eyes
As I scream out and cry
Halo fallen
Flames burning my wings
Looking down on me, my King
While the other Angels sing
Complete solitude
Inside, Im going insane
To me it seems you feed off my pain
But my fallen halo tells me Im to blame
I scream "Lord save me,
Dont send me back to Hell!
Dont lock me in a cell
Please, dont send me down to yell"
Hope and anguish
Screams from my soul
The pain I cant control
From all the hatred I hold
A living nightmare
Night as my curse
Sorrow immerced
I ride in a hearse
On the way to hell
You sent me down
To Hell Im bound
Cant mutter a sound
My halo has fallen
And my wings are charred
I dropped my guard
Now, my heart is scarred.

Naomi S.J. || 9:59 PM

Masked
I pretend Im happy, full of smiles
In reality, its all denial
I have no friends because they cause pain
And to me, that leaves nothing to gain
Six feet under is where I am
The me you see is all an act
Above ground, I wear a mask
Hiding inside the pain and tears
Never revealing my thoughts and fears
Naomi S.J. || 6:26 PM

Lips sewn shut
It burns when I breathe
Something Im sure no one can see
The frog in my throat
Clogging my lungs
Seizing the air
Like I've been hung
Gasping for more
With each breath I take
suffocating
waiting
for my neck to break
It burns to breathe
Something Im sure no one can see
Under my skin
Charred inside
Blackened lips
Staining my pride
Reaching
And crying out
To find the one
without a doubt
To save me
Give me air
Fill my lungs
Dont allow
My neck to tear
I cant breathe
Nobody can see
That inside me
Lies a child
Waiting to scream
Like in a dream
A repeated theme
Where lies me
A child
Buried in debris
Drowning
In the sea
Suffocating
Cannot breathe
About to tear
Nobody cares
Lost it all
Complete despair
I cant breathe
And though I know no one can see
I want them to know
To see me struggling
And to care
Naomi S.J. || 6:24 PM

Chained Prisoner
Locked up to an ebony black, stone cold wall
Hands behind back, pulled tightly to a close
Poisoned cloth balled up, stuffed between the lips
hair pulled back, face exposed
iron chains gripping the wrists
head hanging, eyes swollen and black
teeth chattering, lips trembling
fear inside, of the next attack
something cold, grasping the key
across the face lies faded eyeliner
deathly cold hands slash at the face
locked up to the wall, as a chained prisoner
Naomi S.J. || 7:45 AM

Elmers Glue
Your life is part of my story
In this, the truth I can not bend
Something, Somewhere, took your life
And your journey came to an end
The anger builds in me
The pain fills me inside
Lost in hope and anguish
After your untimely demise
The pain shows in my eyes
As tears drip down my face
But nobody can understand
The knowledge I cant erase
Your life is part of my story
In me, they will find you
Im being torn apart
Like paper stuck to glue

Naomi S.J. || 5:45 PM

Gods Masterpiece
stop the clocks
hold the phone
break the silence
bury the bones
bow your head
fold your hands
pray to God
to His command
hold the sun
and stop the moon
from rising up
a second too soon
watch the stars
count your prayers
inside
exploding with despair
stop the clocks
hold the phone
break the silence
and bury the bones
quiet the pulse
silence the heart
pictures displayed
of your face
Gods work of art
Naomi S.J. || 5:44 PM

The floor you cant fall below
Winter blew in cold this year
Only the intense coldness prospered
Its bitter breeze
Its intricate paths
The breeze knocked the door
Blew away the key
Locked me out
Never did I think
The day would come
Not now
not ever
The bitter winter breeze
took my key and stole it
Wont give it back
And im locked outside
Cold and shivering
Tears in my eyes
Blurred vision
Kneeled on the floor
Cant help but cry.
Naomi S.J. || 10:56 AM

Naomi S.J. >
Schaumburg, IL.
Writer/Reader/Connoisseur of music
email. || facebook.