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AcidicTear
Dont listen to the sound of all the people you know slowly falling apart.
Date : Thursday, July 31
My Beloved
The very first time I saw you
I knew it was meant to be
I'd never let you leave me side
I would never set you free
But days went by and you had left
When I awoke, you were not there
I tried my best to move on without you
But nothing seemed to compare
For it was my own fault you left
I had become very obesessive
It was my fault, my love for you
Had become so very agressive
Because every morning it was you I wanted
But one day you were gone
I lived without you long enough
I needed you at the stike of dawn
I left my house and drove around
But luckily, you found me
I spent my morning alone with you
Until you were gone, my precious coffee.

Naomi S.J. || 2:43 PM

Date : Tuesday, July 29
My awoken slumber
its a dark and stomy night
And im overcome with fright
I lay awake, tossing and turning
Inside, my heart is burning
Frustration sets the tone
Yet again, I am all alone
This stormy weather is not my friend
But I hear it calling my name
And even though its not my friend
i follow, all the same
For it was me this voice was luring
And I dont know what else I'll be enduring
It pulls me deeper and deeper until
It tells me Im not to be so sad and ill
The only light is the moonlight beaming
I wonder if in fact Im dreaming
So now the louder are those voices
I look around, with minimal choices
I beg and plead and fall on my knees
I beg and plead for them to set me free
But on this dark and dreary night
My fear soon turns to their delight
They laugh and laugh as my face goes pale
And begin to tell me a creepy tale
The voices tell me what is to come
And as they finish, I turn numb
For they had said I would die today
And that was why they'd lured me away
The voices said that my life was off track
They told me it was God that I did lack
Quietly now, they spoke to me, glaring
Finally a reason, they were sharing
And in my shame I went back to bed
I lay and cried, but it wasnt tears that I shed
It was blood that spilled out, instead
That night I died, as the voices said
The last thing they shared, was that I was born again.

Naomi S.J. || 11:20 PM

Date : Monday, July 28
Spiral Paper
All I see is an empty page
Plain white and clean
The lines running across the paper
Seeming to capture my screams
Ive attempted in using the paper thats rare
But I have found that it doesnt compare
For nobody knows me like you do
With your boring lines of grayish blue
And it was you who kept my secrets
You comforted me in my greatest sorrow
Youve accepted me and the way I am
And given me hope for a better tomorrow
Throughout the pain and moments of glory
You have been there to hear my story
For you have provided line after line
And just for that I give you my time
But I cant help but wonder what you'd have said
If I'd chosen some rare paper instead
It is you, my paper, that I hold close to my heart
I can only hope that we wont ever be apart.

Naomi S.J. || 10:04 PM

Date : Sunday, July 27
Reaching for nothing
Reaching for a hand
Nobody seems to care
I cant reach any further
Nobody is there

It hurts, having to reach so far
I wish you were near
Where are you?
Why is it me that you cant seem to hear?

All I need is for you to reach out
Show a sense that our friendship is alive
Do memories mean nothing?
I just hope our friendship will survive

Im sick of reaching to the past
I dont want to be on my own
I thought you were worth the effort
I suppose I'll just stay alone.

Naomi S.J. || 11:51 PM

Date :
Mad at Me
Im mad that nobody seems to care
Im mad that thier problems do not compare
Im mad that I am all alone
Im mad that nobody could have known
Im mad that everything is all my fault
Im mad that my life is at another halt
Im mad that I have caused such pain
Im mad that Im always the one to blame
Im mad that Im such a rotten friend
Im mad that its hard for me to pretend
But most of all Im mad at me
Im mad that I am just falling debris.

Naomi S.J. || 12:22 PM

Date : Friday, July 25
Forever Friend's proper goodbye
I never thought I'd see the day
That it was you, who went away
I thought that we'd be forever friends
I thought it'd be that way 'til the end
But you've moved on, and dont need me anymore
You've moved on, and shut this door
So now Im left with all this pain that Im sure you didnt intend
I only wish that you would continue to be my forever friend
Theres so many stories that I havent shared
Now Its me wishing that it was you who cared
Im left with these tears, that I have to cry
My only wish, is for a proper goodbye.

Naomi S.J. || 10:56 PM

Date : Monday, July 21
A Foggy Night
Whenever the rain clouds come to play
My life becomes this weary gray
Everywhere around I see
Something crashing as falling debris
The thunder roars and brings out my fears
My life crumbles into tears
The lightning strikes and sends down pain
Sometimes its too hard to obtain
The rain falls to do some cleaning
But with each raindrop comes a meaning
Sometimes its pain or to cause sorrow
Sometimes its to bring a better tomorrow
And although there is no black anymore
Things wont be as they were before
No longer will there be any white
Things will be different tomorrow night
Whenever the rain comes out to play
Dont think that you cant just pray
And even though I can only see
This thick fog surrounding me
I know Im not alone today
For someday the clouds will be blown away.

Naomi S.J. || 8:05 PM

Date : Thursday, July 17
Selfish
Never will I wish for death to ease the pain
I will forever be selfish in that way
I will always find someone else to blame
And I dont care what anyone else has to say
For I will always want him to sing to me
I will always want him to smile in my direction
I will always want him to be there with the spare key
And I never want to lose this feeling of protection
I want my Dad here with me today
I want him here without the pain
I dont want to need somebody to blame
For I will only care what he has to say
He has been there throughout my troubled childhood
He was there supporting me throughout my pathetic punk stage
No matter what stupid thing I did, he just said he understood
My Dad was there for me no matter what was my age
I love my Dad to death and back
But never will I wish him death to ease the pain
The only wish I will make for for the pain to just go away
I love my Dad to death and back
And for this readon, I'll be selfish like that

Naomi S.J. || 10:55 PM

Date : Wednesday, July 16
Childhood
I was a child, watching the fights
Trying to ignore them, the screams in the night
Burried in my pillow, sobbing with tears
I would never have thought it would haunt my years
But it was my parents that I tried not to hate
They didnt realize the fighting and the pain that it made
If only they would realize, take notice, and see
That someone was crying and it had to be me
For now I am scared to fall inlove, and fear to be alone
Its too much to bare, all the pain that I've known
I may not be a little girl, but there is one thing that I will say
I cant forget these memories
Because they haunt me everyday.

Naomi S.J. || 2:05 PM

Date : Monday, July 14

just a lonely girl
I am a lonely girl who has no life
I wonder when this will change
I see that I am stuck here
I want to trade places with you
I am a lonely girl who has no life
I pretend that this is just a dream
I feel like I am cursed
I dont understand what I have done
I worry about what my life will become
I cry at night. in my room
I am a lonely girl who has no life

I understand I am better off than some
I say that I am thankful for what I have
I dream that one day I will get away from this place
I try to make the best of things
I hope I learn to appreciate
I am a lonely girl who has no life.

Naomi S.J. || 11:17 PM

Date :
Sleeping pills
Lying wide awake in the dark
Taking a walk through the park
Watching flowers bloom with the sun
Reading a book just for fun
Going on a low budget shopping spree
Always hoping to find something for free
Watching reruns on my TV set
Chatting with people on the net
Staring at the rain hit the ground
Listening to every little sound
Things like this were just fine
And thats what i did when I had time

Naomi S.J. || 9:19 AM

Date : Friday, July 11
faith
days are short but nights are long
i may be weak but i stay strong
time does seem to go by so slow
the light in me is just a glow
tick tock is the only sound
that i can hear as the clock goes 'round
but I am strong and can handle this
i no longer wait for some sweet bliss
just take me away from this awful place
i drew out my life, so let me erase!
show me the stairway to heaven above
get me away from the people i love
no longer can i cause any pain
someone please, take me out of my shame
The prayers i weep each night in bed
are the things my life should be instead
but I am strong and can handle this
so when i die, i want to be missed
i praise the Lord every week in church
I dont think its fair that I have to search
I show my faith to neighbors and friends
so why continue to make amends?
I am strong and will handle this
But Its hard to belive that a the Lord exists.

Naomi S.J. || 4:30 PM

Date : Thursday, July 10
Graduation 2
Yearbook in hand
And tears on my face
Remembering the friendships
That can never be replaced
Friends sit by me
On that last day of school
Tears on all our cheeks
Why is life so cruel?
I found myself wondering why the second that I made friends
The year was over and had come to its end
Graduation practice was over
It was almost time to say goodbye
A tear dripped down my cheek
And I began to cry
This year was gone
I had made some friends
I knew I couldnt say goodbye
So it was graduation, that I didnt attend.

Naomi S.J. || 6:47 PM

Date : Tuesday, July 8
A meaning with each tear
I am crying
tears of pain
my mind tells me
im not to blame
but i am crying
these tears of mine
as i look out the window, I wonder
when the sun will shine
i am crying
tears of fear
i look for help
but no ones near
i am crying
tears of exhaustion
i live my life
with added caution
I am crying
tears of love
I pray and pray
for help from above
But Still I cry
for the pain that God sends
Everytime I turn to him
I only hope my pain will end
I am stuck crying
tears of desire
I hope that one day
My pain will expire.

Naomi S.J. || 11:30 PM

Date : Monday, July 7

Reflections
Mirror Mirror on the wall
Am I the ugliest one of all?
Why is it the mirror breaks,
Everytime it sees my face?
Why is it that I burn the eyes?
Is it my face I must disguise?
Just kill me now
And kill me fast
This mirror image must be my last
Mirror Mirror help me please
Cure me of this sick disease
Take away the pain inside
Somehow make my looks subside
So one day the mirror wont brake
I will be pretty when I awake
Just make it end
Make it stop
Its the world I want to be ontop
Mirror mirror ill go away
And because you cant help, I wont stay
The beauty is within, and I know that now
I will prove it, but I dont know how.
So Mirror Mirror on the wall
Its time for you to take your fall
Ill smash you up to bits and pieces
And then its time, that my confidence increases.

Naomi S.J. || 10:08 PM

Date : Sunday, July 6
My constant enemy
A storm cloud hangs above my head
It represents the tears ive shed
'cause every time my life seems better
In the mail I recieve that letter
Dear Naomi, things arent too good
I would be there if only I could
But yet again, things have gone wrong
And all I can hope is for you to stay strong
Its this letter that I always fear
its this letter that brings that tear
'Cause every time my life looks good
I know that I have misunderstood
Never again will I ever doubt
That no matter what the bottom falls out.

Naomi S.J. || 10:40 PM

Date : Saturday, July 5
On the other hand...
Tis' true I smile
but i also cry
i may be alive
but inside, i died
my mind may thump
but it is still
i may live
but i lost my will
i may breathe
but i cant catch my breath
i may sleep
but i dream of death
i may love
but i also hate
wheres my second chance?
Is it too late?
too late to change?
and too late to be
too late to reveal
the real me

Naomi S.J. || 10:57 PM

Date : Friday, July 4
Black Rainbow
There are no longer any colors
The rainbow left them behind
So far along my journey
I cant help but hide

But the rainbow has turned black
And the rain keeps falling down
It used to lead my way
But now Im left to drown
I feel alone but Im okay
Tis' true my life has gone astray
But for now I am not dead
The pains inside my head
And one day, it will go

The colors may not return
My heart may forever burn
But this black rainbow inside of me
Wont be the lock, but it'll be the key
The colors are gone
They have all turned black
And I am stuck in this crack
But Ive lived like this for many years
And my path has gone astray
And unless someone helps me out
I will forever, cease to pray.

Naomi S.J. || 11:58 PM

Date : Thursday, July 3

Tick Tock
The eyes of death are watching me
Everywhere I go, they see
But this is the life that I have to live
I have no choice, but to forgive
I am the only one to blame
Its my fault that I live in shame
Its my fault, I caused the pain
I treated life like it was a game
But my time is almost over and Im next on the list
The worst part about this is that I know I wont be missed
The eyes of death are watching me
Watching my life crumble into a falling debris
Family and friends, they watch in laughter
I am gone, they live happily ever after.

Naomi S.J. || 10:39 PM

Date : Wednesday, July 2
Empty
My heart feels heavy
Yet its empty inside
Everywhere I go
I look for a place to hide
Days turn to weeks
And weeks to years
Im still in my corner
Drowning in tears
Look into my eyes
I know what you'll see
Beyond the tears of hope and destruction
You'll find pain and misery
Help me fill this hole inside
Because if you dont, I'll sooner die
Not by choice
Its not my turn
But through all this I have learned
That being alone is not any fun
And while being alone, Im the only one
Help me fill this hole
Thats burried deep inside
Help me fill this hole
I dont want to die.

Naomi S.J. || 10:57 PM

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Naomi S.J. >
Schaumburg, IL.
Writer/Reader/Connoisseur of music
email. || facebook.








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